VICTORIES. IN LAPS.

Im just as afraid as you are. What’s the difference? You’re still becoming who you need to be in the moment; be patient, keep learning. Growth doesn’t happen overnight; we have to take our time. In the first post, I talked about writing/creating blogs and posts then throwing them away as if they had never happened. Sharing was never an option at that point. 

It’s scary, creating content, not knowing how it will be received. I still struggle with it to this day. Hell, I went on a 2-week hiatus of not publishing anything solely out of fear. Fear of how I’d be received. It sounds crazy because I’ve already started you’d think the fear would have dissipated by now. I don’t think it will ever leave which is fine. The only thing that affects us is where we place our fears, doubts and failures on our list of priorities. 

What changed for me? Realizing why I started doing this in the first place. Simply put, it feels good. It’s not something that I have to do, I didn’t sign a contract, I have no obligations, this was a choice. As the late, great poet, Ermias J. Asghedom once said, “the highest human act is to inspire”. That has always been my aim, the only confusion was how to do it. Execution was the key. I am forever grateful to understand this. When you start believing the power in the gift you possess, nothing after that matters. Clicks, likes, comments are great, but will never beat the feeling of enjoying the creative process of your masterpiece. Another powerful mind I tend to draw from is Lenard L. McKelvey, “out of every 10 people, 3 are going to love it, 3 are going to hate and the last 4 arent going to give a shit either way”. Just keep doing you.

What we should remember is to confront our insecurities, recognize them for what they are, false claims. Example, once I conquer the thought of how much I despise the way my voice sounds, or my slight stutter (sounds irrational because I talk so much, I know!), I would like to have my own podcast. I’m also apprehensive about being recorded on camera because of multiple knee injuries that changed my gait forever, but there will be a time where you see me through a screen. These are personal goals that will be accomplished, it’s just a matter of time. 

Doing things in different ways when you’re ready provides comfort later down the road. We learn what works and what doesn’t. we can try the things we like, implement changes and enjoy the fruits of our labor. In the comfort of our own home we can record our voices until we get used to the sound, speak slowly, enunciate; practice our craft to become better. In the meantime, we just need to have fun with it. There’s only one life to live on Earth, might as well enjoy this shit.